As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows approaching me
And to those I left behind
I wanted you to know
You’ve always shared my deepest thoughts
You follow where I go

And oh when I’m old and wise
Bitter words mean little to me
Autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they asked me if I knew you
I’d smile and say you were a friend of mine
And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes
Oh when I’m old and wise

As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows surrounding me
And to those I leave behind
I want you all to know
You’ve always shared my darkest hours
I’ll miss you when I go

And oh, when I’m old and wise
Heavy words that tossed and blew me
Like autumn winds that will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they ask you if you knew me
Remember that you were a friend of mine
As the final curtain falls before my eyes
Oh when I’m old and wise

As far as my eyes can see.......

Have you heard this song?  It's an old song ('80s) by Alan Parsons Project called "Old and Wise". Interesting the way songs are written.   This song is about dying and someone looking back on their life - it's not a Christian song, but some of it's points have stuck with me over the years since I first heard it.   It's a kind of haunting song with all the minor chords they play in it -- but interestingly enough when it gets to the end of each of the "choruses" on the "Oh when I'm old and wise" part, it changes to a resolving major chords.

I love listening to the melodic progression of chords in songs... this one particularly because although it is sad, it resolves so there's almost a peace about the going or the thought they are having.
These are great lyrics...

And oh when I’m old and wise
Bitter words mean little to me
Autumn winds will blow right through me

and
And oh, when I’m old and wise
Heavy words that tossed and blew me
Like autumn winds that will blow right through me

Reminds me that things that seem so HUGE now when I look back at them from far in the future will not have the same impact on me.  We are so caught up in the moment, so caught up on how people say things to us.  It seems such a huge deal at the time.  But in the end, there's only a sad memory of a great friendship that once was, that got messed up along the way somehow.  Reminds me of Psalm 103:8 and how we should instead reflect the Lord when we are angry/upset: The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

For me, it's not bitter, heavy words that have caused separation in friendships, rather busyness.  Everything is so busy, and I'm not able to keep up very well with friendships of those that have moved out of my immediate life circle for one reason or another.  I have had some REALLY good friends that have just slipped into a mild oblivion.   I say mild because we are friends on FB or we see each other a couple of times a year, or I only get a Christmas card from them... but I still consider them near and dear to my heart.  But this thing -- busyness -- just robs me of being able to connect as I would like. But I'm sure looking back on my life all this busyness in my life now "like autumn winds will blow right through me"...  Makes me take a step back and evaluate all I am doing and it's importance over other things....

I love this....

And someday in the mist of time
When they asked me if I knew you
I’d smile and say you were a friend of mine
And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes

When I hear this I think of a time in the future thinking back on a friendship of someone who has died -- like recently my sister-in-law.   I would smile and say she was a friend of mine - and the sadness is lifted from my eyes because I think of the fond times we shared and the fact that I will see her again in heaven -- where there will be no busyness... or pain or sorrow or dying or arguing, etc etc etc. That truly brings a smile to my face.

And someday in the mist of time
When they ask you if you knew me
Remember that you were a friend of mine

Don't forget about me, friends...

Fighting the Good Fight of Faith

Inevitably there are times in our lives when we need to put in to action what we are counseling others to do. This is one of those days for me. 

I struggle to find comfort in God's plan.  I struggle to understand why God is doing what He is doing. I struggle to think right and to think how the gospel applies in this situation.  My emotions are clouding my thinking...

"Why would God do this? Why would God handle this situation this way? I don't understand..."  ...not in an angry, accusing tone, more like a confused, weary one.

How would I counsel someone who comes to me with this?

Well, obviously, I would preach the gospel to them.  I would tell them of God's perfect plan - of His perfect love for them - How the Spirit Himself intercedes for them with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26) and how Christ is praying that they would not lose faith (Luke 22:32) -- even when we can't seem to find the words to pray, and all we seem to be able to do is cry.  It doesn't depend on us, ever.  It's all about Christ and what Christ has done for us, what He does through us, keeping our eyes fixed on the joy that is set out before us, that being, a life free of pain and suffering, of endless joy and peace in the presence of God forever.  There is a day coming, and we anticipate it with great hope.

I would encourage them in their fight - that it's difficult to fight to do the right thing.  It's so much easier to give into self than it is to purpose to glorify and choose God.  But I would also remind them that choosing self proves to be the more difficult road in the end -- good understanding produces favor, but the way of the treacherous is hard (Prov 13:15) and that the choosing God becomes the way less difficult path --  Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matt 11:28-30).

I would remind them that nothing can separate them from the love of God (Romans 8:38).  And that there is no condemnation in our sin for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1, 31-34) -- Satan accuses, trying to bring us in as deserving punishment and being condemned - but Christ not only abolished death, but covered our all our sins and now we are imputed with the righteousness of Christ, so God sees us as He sees Him.  No one, then, by accusing can condemn us, when God, the Judge, absolves.  In that we rejoice and is it an assurance of our salvation and future glory.

I would remind them of the importance of giving thanks in all circumstances.  We cannot be thankful and discontent at the same time.  Thankfulness causes us to see the good, to dwell on the good and that encourages our hearts and brings us peace (Phil 4:4-9).

I would encourage them to confess and repent from an ungrateful, not trusting, and discontent heart

I would challenge them with some homework to get them started in putting off their current way of thinking and putting on the correct way of thinking: When they become frustrated (or unthankful/discontent or events in which they feel failure, criticism, sadness, defeat):

        1.      What your thoughts are about the circumstance?

        2.      What are you tempted to do or say in response to this  

                 circumstance?

        3.      What do you want that you are not getting?

        4.      What is God’s perspective about the situation?

        5.      What are His promises, instructions and exhortations that 

                 apply to this situation?

        6.      What will you choose to think, desire, do and say at this 

                 time?

I was needing today to preach all of this to myself... I needed to choose the road that seems difficult but in reality proves to be the one of ease.  

By the grace of God and with the help of the Holy Spirit I am fighting! I am finding out what I want that I'm not getting and how instead I need to be responding. I am confessing and repenting of my sin and sinful heart. I am thanking God for His provisions and care and comfort and for His goodness, and timing, and love for me in all circumstances... 

Please pray for me as I fight and for my faith to be strengthened.