Living on the Side of the Mountain...

It's so interesting to me -- how one day you can be on top of the world (on the mountain top) in your relationship with God.  You begin to think -- how was I ever in the valley? Or even descending into the valley? Then all of a sudden *bam* you're sliding down the hill for no apparent reason.  There hasn't been a trial (or not one you've been fighting through already) - there hasn't been some conflict or doubt that has arisen - there is no weariness, no temptation overtaking you.  Just the feeling of that mountain top closeness fading. And where "last week" you were jumping out of bed to spend time with the Lord, you find that "this week" hours go by in the morning with it barely crossing your mind, and when you finally go sit down, it seems difficult and forced, rather than that peace of abiding joyfully. It seems so easy at those times to let busyness win over sitting and abiding.

In my younger years, I might have mistaken a time like that as God being far from me.  I didn't *feel* the presence of God, so therefore He wasn't near to me and I had to search for Him - recreate that mountain top feeling.  I failed to grasp the concept back then that the Holy Spirit lives IN ME.  There's not too much closer on this earth that God could be to me than that! Not only that but I am UNITED with Christ -- that's a concept that still baffles me joyfully. So whether or not I *feel* His presence, He is ever present in me. And because of my union with Christ, I won't ever be without Him. 

These truths have helped me to dig my heels in while sliding or even just living daily on the side of the mountain - fighting not to let the momentum of the downward slide or the status quo take root in my heart - not listening to lies of God not being near me -- from a roaring lion without a bite.  Satan loves to pray on my emotions, and what better emotion to try to trip me up with than a feeling of indifference from God.
 

"... See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are"..."But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." 

God is not indifferent! He loves me and cares for my every need.  So even though some mornings my quiet time seems more like dry toast than a banquet set out before me, and I can wait peacefully through a "dry time" by remembering these truths (and others!) - when I fight to remember that that my feelings don't dictate who God is to me or my standing in Christ.  

Help my Unbelief

Ugh. I hate the me within me –
the me that is so consumed with me
the me that desires for the easy way out
the me that so quickly strays
and forgets the great mercies God has been so faithful to bestow
new every morning – new every minute.

Oh Lord, I know your grace is sufficient.
I just struggle sometimes to feel it is sufficient.
Help my unbelief.

There's so much peace in pondering God's great love
a love that, though faith, unites me to Him
so I am seen as white as snow
not as the me that is so consumed with me
rather, forgiven and loved.

Praise God for that truth!
Praise God that there is nothing that can separate me from this great love of God!
 
And because God loves me perfectly
His grace is sufficient
to do the right thing
to love the way I should
to endure suffering and hardship
to give of myself when I feel depleted
And, dang, have I been feeling depleted...
Help my unbelief.

Lord, help me not to sway from this truth
when things are sad
when things seem to be unraveling
when my sense of justice has been shaken
when things are changing I can't control.

Your unwavering love, Oh God, sustains me in all.
Lord... help my unbelief.

Fall on Jesus

---

As you know I have 4 daughters ages 11-17. Hormones rage here. Today, not unlike every other day, is a day of breaking up arguments and petty disputes. It gets all too wearisome.

I'm tempted to yell. I'm tempted to cry. I'm tempted to lock myself in my room. I'm tempted to give in to my weariness of it all. "Not another day of this, Lord; I just can't take it!"

Last night a song popped into my head. Come to Jesus by Chris Rice.
Weak and wounded sinner,
Lost and left to die,
O, raise your head for Love is passing by,

Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus,
Come to Jesus and live,

Now your burden's lifted,
And carried far away,
And precious blood has washed away the stain... so

Sing to Jesus ,
Sing to Jesus ,
Sing to Jesus and live,

And like a newborn baby,
Don't be afraid to crawl,
And remember when you walk sometimes we fall... so

Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus,
Fall on Jesus and live,

Sometimes the way is lonely,
And steep and filled with pain,
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain... then

Cry to Jesus,
Cry to Jesus,
Cry to Jesus and live,

O, and when the love splills over,
And music fills the night,
And when you can't contain you joy inside... then

Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus,
Dance for Jesus and live,

And with your final heartbeat,
Kiss the world goodbye,
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side... and

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live,

Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus,
Fly to Jesus and live

Although this song seems to be reaching out to the unbeliever or the progression of a new believer, I tell you, it ministers to me so -- just a reminder that where I need to run first is to the cross of Christ -- or "fall on Jesus" as the song urges us.

Hebrews 12:1-2 says:
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.

Run for repentance; run for forgiveness; run for refreshing in a weary moment.

As my pastor says, "If we think wrong we cannot live right." Our battles are much more than outward mothering struggles, they are an inward war in our minds. We need to lay aside the "deeds of darkness" (Rom 13:10-14) and put on the "Light". The key to this putting off and putting on is the renewing of our minds (Eph 4:17-24) through prayer and the meditation and memorization of God's word.

Galatians 6:9 reminds us:And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.

Now that's a promise!!

Are you falling on Jesus?